You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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