Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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