my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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