I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize