Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
