she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
