Im at strip club and am horny
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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