one might say we're banned from that church
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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