I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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