so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
