i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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