Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
