A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
