his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
