Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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