dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize