TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
