dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Randomize
