i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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