Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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