Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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