i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
