hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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