It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Randomize
