hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
