Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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