I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
