sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
