I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
