True but thats because hes a fetus.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
