I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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