therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
