You're completely useless in the revolution.
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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