tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
