Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
