How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize