Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
