dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
