look no pants
another moral hangover. fuck.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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