Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
