she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
