Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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