Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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