Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Randomize
