I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
