Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
