my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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