Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
