Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
