I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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