I don't think brook has ever known best
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
