there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
