My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
