My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Is it because I queefed?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
