So drunk, too bad you don't want this
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Randomize
