Your face is a jimmy john
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
We are all done wearing pants today
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
