No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
