you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Randomize
