these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
