if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
