they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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