yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize