it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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