found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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