it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
